Dedicated to the Running Dads --> Scumbag Deadbeat Dad. The fine line between ‘dedicated-athlete’ and ‘neglectful parent’.

 

 

 

Anyone who is a Facebook friend of mine, or a follower on my Instagram account will be made more than aware (about 35 times a day) that I am a proud, doting father of an amazingly adorable 10 month old baby boy.

As far as proud fathers go, I’d be right up there with the most proud. I may never be able to shower

my kid in gifts and riches, but as far as cuddles and bad ‘dad’ jokes go, he’ll get them in abundance.

However, with this baby came the inevitable balancing act between trying to maintain fitness, motivation, and running ability, AND holding my own as an equal-share parent to a son; who deserves nothing less. It’s a commitment almost every new parent makes; during labour I silently (…because the moment wasn’t one where grand self-proclamations would be well received) promised my wife and (then unborn) child that I would never be the dreaded ‘deadbeat dad’.

The obvious problem with this delicate balancing act is that the days are immediately shorter (in-spite of decreased sleep patterns). You’re exhausted…..all the time too. Plus, the moments when you are afforded the leisure of time to do as you please, come in short spurts, and at irregular intervals.

Suddenly the consequence of a regular, routine run, is inevitably tired legs and a jealous, exhausted and (justifiably) angry partner.

And the thing is, you miss the kid too.

That isn’t to say, you don’t miss you friends or partner normally, it’s just that with every second away from a new-born, you are flooded with the guilt of taking ‘precious moments’ for granted.

It’s weird. Mainly, because runners are selfish.

 

Admit it. Come to terms with it. We are.

We all go away on holidays, and look at every beach as a training-ground and overgrown bushland as a potential long-run in the ‘trails’. Instead of ‘relaxing’ we worry about Garmin GPS uploading, and how long until we can venture out on a ‘foreign’ run.

 

We’re monsters.

 

 

Luckily, kids change that.

Kind of.

 

For me the manic compulsion is there, but so too, is the guilt of not holding up my end of a bargain that I willingly signed up to.

And at the risk of rendering this article completely useless, I don’t have the solution to this.

I do have a plan though…

 

The way I’ve chosen to combat both demons, is to bear the burden myself.

And, I’m not a martyr, I am full aware that the cross I bear is one I’ve not only nailed-together, but grown the saplings and harvested the wood too.

In spite of this I’ve chosen to appease my own needs with as little disruption to my wife and child as possible.

To do this I’ve decided to:

      1)      Reserve myself to the fact that this year may not be as successful as previous years. Being aware that I have a very good excuse for not being as mentally or physically switched on as normal, is an easy concept to grasp as any.

     2)      I’ve began training at times when my wife and child are sleeping. My routine involves getting up at 4am, thenrunning, and going to the gym, to be completed at 7:00am. Unfortunately I miss waking up with my family, but with the working day done, now find myself free to help, and contribute at a time when my wife is exhausted, and in need of company and support.

       3)      I’ve experimented with different training patterns and intensities, and this relates to my first point (and relaxed attitude to expectation). I’ve began trying to embrace an opportunity to miss a training session, to help out with the baby, as being ‘fate forced recovery’. The benefit of living in a sole time-narrative-life (devoid of advent tangent universes) is that you will never know whether it is the worst decision in the world, or the greatest choice to avoid injury and fatigue that you’ve ever made.

And so far, it’s worked well. As hard as it is to get up when that alarm sounds…..I feel fit and, more importantly, I feel like a father.

 

Last week, when I came home from work, my son smiled wide and held his arms out wide for me with a look of pure joy in his eyes.

All this at a time when I would have previously been on an afternoon training run.

 

 

 

I’ve made the right choice.

 Till next time, run often...and with those you love more-so

 

Clay Dawson

intraining Sponsored Athlete and Doting Dad

My Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/clay.dawson

My Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/clay_dawson/

My Strava: https://www.strava.com/athletes/3894877

https://www.facebook.com/groups/runningdadsoz/ - Running Dads check this out - it's a great group of AWESOME Dads! Much Love!